Netflix’s You sheds light on the dangers of stalkers in the digital age
Love isn’t a strong enough word. Sometimes, it scares me to love someone so completely and not have them love you back.
— Joe Goldberg.
Aren’t dating apps great?
Like, just imagine how hard it was for people to meet up before they had their phones. You and a bunch of your friends had to dress up, and go out to a bar or a club and then pay way too much for drinks. And that was just to get you a shot at going home with a special someone.
Nowadays thanks to your handy dandy cellular device it’s as easy to get a date as it is to order Chipotle. A simple swipe, a few flirty texts, and maybe a quick Instagram stalk later you can be in a new relationship if you really want to be.
But how safe is this anyway? Catfishing on dating apps is increasingly common with UK news site Metro reporting that 28% of women and 43% of men admitted to being catfished in 2018.
Recently Netflix shined a light on the dangers of stalkers and the internet in their hit show You. Transplanted from Lifetime after receiving major ratings boost on the streaming platform to the stalker thriller takes a unique look at what it means to be a creep in 2019.
The main protagonist Joe Goldberg is a love addict obsessed with finding a romantic connection with the women he stalks. And while Joe himself starts the series off shunning the use of social media, he frequents it to find information on his prey. The woman of Joe’s fixation in season one, Guenivere Beck, is shown to leave all her accounts to be public. Expectedly, Joe takes this to mean Beck “want[s] to be seen. Heard. Known. Of course I obliged.”
Even in the next season, Joe once again stalks his new fixation, Love Quinn, through the same means. Combing through her and her social circle’s Instagram feeds, he builds profiles on all of them which he uses to his advantage when trying to seduce his love interest.
While the storylines of You are definitely far-reaching in terms of the ability of most stalkers to also be handsome and charming casanovas, the depiction of how social media is used is frighteningly real.
Now, the occasional Insta-stalk is nothing rare. According to MSN, 76% of people surveyed admitted to having stalked an ex online. But while most of us stalk with harmless intentions, there are plenty of horror stories even worse than the deadly ends Netflix depicts.
Esquire covered this exact sort of situation — a budding romance turned to cyberstalk — in their April 2015 issue. It describes the horrifying story of a woman who got into an online relationship with a man that quickly became creepy, and when she tried to end it began receiving daily if not more frequent emails of disgusting harassment.
A Netflix show like You may tell this kind of story for our entertainment, but when we see things like this happening in the real world it becomes clear just how easily we could all face our very own Joe Goldberg.
The question then becomes how do we fight an enemy we don’t even know? Oftentimes those who are stalked don’t realize it’s happening until it’s too late, but keeping accounts private and controlling who can follow you can be a major deterrent to petty stalking.
More importantly, though, the stigma of coming forward must be overcome. Like USCNews writes, “Victims often second-guess themselves or believe they’re overreacting.” Addressing the issue and educating people on internet safety are both essential steps to protecting loved ones online.
While it may seem like You is just a fantastically gripping show to binge on a lazy weekend, the depth of the premise goes far beyond what most viewers realize. The concept of stalking has been redefined in the age of social media, and You does an amazing job of depicting how our digital lives can be weaponized in the wrong hands.
Midbrow 